i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
