Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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