Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
