Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
