I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
