After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
