If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
