We're facebook friends in real life
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
