I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
