oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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