So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
