The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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