She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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