Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
