Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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