More tranny stories later!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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