So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
