You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
