I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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