bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
