Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
