i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
