like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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