From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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