Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
