MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
