guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
