in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
