Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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