I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
