Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
