He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
