As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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