You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
handjob tips. give me some.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
