Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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