im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
