ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
