Old men and throwing up are my life now.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
