There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
