Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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