I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
