you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The power of my boobs compel you
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
