His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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