woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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