I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
