My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
