ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
