Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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