yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
