dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
