Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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